Tools I Use Myself
Tools I Use TO JUGGLE A TON AND ACTUALLY STAY HEALTHY & WELL
People skip self-care because they are too "busy" and miss the crucial reality that the MORE you make time for the self-care the BETTER everything goes and the MORE you are able to handle. All this with actual happiness and not just achievement or "keeping up."
EVERYTHING listed below I actually do.
It's that combo that keeps energy level/focus very high and anxiety and depression low. When people ask how I balance all this: running a busy PR/Media company, hands-on single mother, continuous education (I am always in a school program getting accredited further with coaching), Google consultant, an entire side Coaching practice, Recovery sponsor, trying to write a book, doing lectures and engaged in a connected social life with friends it's BECAUSE I do all this below. Real talk- without the stuff below my house of cards would tumble basically. Do I miss some of it daily? Of course, but what I don’t skip is various forms of it all day long. Hybrid approach but the goal is to do it all consistently so it’s just part of your life.
TOOL FOR PRESENCE
EVERYONE NEEDS THIS TOOL AND MOST I COACH DON'T HAVE ONE WHEN I ASK! It’s to stop negative self talk,anxiety, fear, depression, addiction impulses and keep you from reacting in an actual stressful situation or interaction.
Also known as “Getting Present”. This isn’t some hippie dippie bullshit phrase- it actually can be used all day so you don’t react and go off into emotional discomfort. It’s so real.
This is your Number 1 tool in life so this book or technique (or one like it) is ESSENTIAL.
Eckhart Tolle book (and audiobook- I recommend using both at same time) “Power of Now”. To me it’s a guide on how to get through life with some peace and actual freedom (ie: happiness).
I summarize it in lecture and coaching- when the movie in your head is running on about the past or the future (or negative self talk) just acknowledge your emotion around it very simply like an obvious statement with no judgement and it helps to say your own name “Kathryn your scared” and then simply get present with things around you using your senses (the car smells weird, the air conditioner is clicking, a man in orange shirt is crossing the street, i hear a horn, there is dust on the dash board, my neck itches). Do a handful of these-10 or so. You will notice you are not in that movie anymore in your head. If you go back to it then do the same process again. The first day will be non -stop. Like keeping emotional kittens in the basket. It will lessen a lot. You will retrain your brain to not fixate on the past or future tripping. This brings so much peace and relief. This is your power tool when in a bad head space, in an argument with someone, dealing with an inflamed situation, etc.
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
This book is the key to life in my opinion- no joke. You actually practice these 4 agreements daily and your life will go well and you will have piece of mind. I feel strongly about this because I use it and it works. I am a former sometimes angry, unhealthy and caustic person. With therapy and adhering to this I am none of these any longer as a general character (of course I have my moments!)
GET THE FOUR AGREEMENTS BY DON MIGUEL RUIZ
1 Be impeccable with your word
2 Don’t take anything personally
3 Don’t make assumptions
4 Always do your best
YOU NEED A DAILY FORCEFIELD: MEDITATION (build up that forcefield around you so you are less reactive to stresses of the day): I do TM but any meditation is great and there are endless apps and YouTubes to help find something. TM Acosta money but also has a sliding scale program so it’s accessible.
TM (Transcendental Meditation). It’s a game changer physically and mentally. Your stress goes down immediately, energy goes up and creativity spikes
It eliminates hypertension and stress. The Mayo Clinic uses it for patients to instantly remove hypertension. It makes you flow creatively (David lynch and Martin Scorsese talk on this all the time).
TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION SITE:
HOW TM EFFECTS BLOOD PRESSURE:
RICK RUBIN IN ROLLING STONE ON TM AND CREATIVITY:
DAVID LYNCH ON TM AND CREATIVITY AT BOSTON THEATER:
BREATHING (rids depression, anxiety and brings energy, focus and peace. 70% of body fat is released through great (Right?!). So concentrated purposeful breathing changes everything. Most people are just breathing short and just surviving.
We all breath but most people do not consciously breathe at all. The science behind a breathing practice is so compelling. You can control your body and it’s functions via breathing. It’s fascinating and shockingly simple to do. It should be taught in elementary school and done your whole life daily like brushing your teeth.
State Breathing App: https://shiftstate.io/
This is cheap, simple and highly effective. Just do it everyday in the morning and night for 4-7minutes
Research other breathwork- it’s all great. Brian MacKenzie with SH//FT, Wim Hoff, etc
MOVE YOUR BODY! (less depression, more energy)
This is obvious. The science behind exercise and mood/vitality is overwhelming. Find something and do it 3x a week and get your heart rate going. Yoga, Pilates, Running, Classes, Cross Fit, Tennis, Walking, Gym, Hiking, Basketball, whatever it takes and that will keep you doing it.
Get a Fitbit to help you be mindful and get used to paying attention to you moving.
New York Times on depression and exercise...
Time Magazine on…
ESSENTIAL OIL / PLANT MEDICINE (this isn’t just pleasant aromatherapy- it’s powerful extracts that can alter mood, alleviate depression, anxiety and give you a lot more immune system power and energy):
Doterra oils are my favorite but Young Living brand is great too. I use them all day every day. I drink them, put them on thin skinned areas like back of neck, wrists and behind knees. They keep you in a great balance. This stuff is what medicine was for thousands of years until only the last 150 years when modern medicine really kicked in.
Download the “Modern Essentials” app so you can quickly see how to use the oils for various ailments/issues)
What I think are essentials to get right away: Frankincense, Lavender, “Balance” blend, Wild Orange, Lemon, DDR Prime soft gels, Mryhh, “On Guard” soft gels, Eucalyptus, etc.
I use these daily and they work with emotions and preventing sickness.
YOUR GUT- PROBIOTICS:
(if you get your gut flora right you will have less illness, ailments, depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of energy):
Progurt probiotic sachets (very costly but very powerful): I take one sachet a week in juice. Google these and get them if you can.
Take any high level pro-biotic pill daily (avail on amazon or Whole Foods, CVS) and I do this in addition to the progurt sometimes.
CBD OIL (reduces inflammation, reduces anxiety and depression greatly, cures insomnia). So much out there but research it and find what works. Takes a month to show up with effects.
“Charlotte’s Web” Balance CBD oil to start with...
“Relief” blend of Balance CBD- slightly higher formula:
FASTING (done for thousands of years to regain energy, strength and patterns of metabolizing and to flush organs):
Intermittent Fasting- I do this and really like the effects: lose weight, more energy, better health. The science behind it I like. You only eat for 8 hours a day and the rest of the time you are letting your body regenerate and not have to be breaking down food. I do 12pm-8pm. So I’ll eat lunch at noon and dinner done before 8pm. On a day where I have a dinner planned I’ll just eat lunch later so the timing is the same.
New York Times on it...
Harvard Health on it...
Dr Schulze Liver Cleanse: Our liver has to filter all the crap we put in so this is important for everyone. Especially people who consume drugs or alcohol or have in the past.
DIET (this could be an epic list so I’ll keep it simple- if you eat well then your energy level and vitality will be there).
Vegan/Plant based- the science is there on this. If you don’t put animal fat and bad cholesterol then your body responds well and you are safer from many ailments like diabetes, heart disease, liver disease, auto immune disorders, etc.
Watch "What the Health” documentary on Netflix for a beating over the head of why this is the way. I saw it and never went back and have been a dairy free Pescatarian since (full Veganism for me was too intense and took the joy out of eating out for me so adding fish back in filled that gap but keeps me mostly plant based outside salmon once a week).
Keto or High protein- I did this for a long time. It seems to yield great results for how your body looks and loses weight. It’s still high in cholesterol with all the meat intake which to me means you might look great in a bathing suit but are your arteries like that of an obese person? This does not seem healthy.
You can look up your needs with diet. I think clean simple eating with as little processed food as possible and low/no sugar is the best for health. I keep animal fat and dairy out of my diet and have had significant results with energy, mood and how I look. Some feel they need and thrive on meat.
THERAPY (this is crucial and is only at the bottom of the list because I assumed maybe it’s already happening. I think everyone can benefit from therapy and it should be constant and free (paid by the government). It’s hard being a human and we all need that weekly vent and ability to work through past issues- usually stemming from childhood.
Ask friends or google good therapists on psychology today site.
Shaman are key to me too, plant medicine ceremonies, EMDR therapy (have not done but about to try) and Somatic Experiencing Therapy (tried 3x and was blown away by the deep access to feelings it gave me).
Anything to dig into your past and talk through them is imperative
I have used a coach and it was so helpful for getting unstuck with some personal and professional blocks. You can address anything you would in therapy (or your entire life) but it’s approached differently and I have found real movement came from it Vs is just talking about it endlessly but sometimes feeling like it was not moving forward. It’s a process of being asked your own questions so that aha moments come from you Vs being advised by someone or just venting.
Google coaches near your or check the ICF website for certified life and executive coaches. They are not all the same or accredited so look for that ICF logo.
ICF TO FIND A LOCAL COACH: